1 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,210 [Abby] Previously on Work in Progress. 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,616 This is still kind of fun, right? 3 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:09,880 Kind of. 4 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,035 So what's the gaggle of crones 5 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,963 getting into this weekend? 6 00:00:13,038 --> 00:00:14,378 [Abby] A group of crones is not called a gaggle. 7 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,960 It's called a dustbin. 8 00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:17,551 You know what? I hope she turns out gay. 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,220 It would make everything so much easier. 10 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,888 How, exactly? 11 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,886 What kind of janky fuck site are you even on? 12 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,393 I'm just looking. 13 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,060 The San Francisco branch isn't coming in 14 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,228 for the meeting next week. 15 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,556 They suspending all travel. 16 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,225 [Abby] All right. I love you. 17 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,059 It's gonna be all right. 18 00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,369 We'll be all right. 19 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,395 Hey, man. Six fuckin' feet. 20 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,019 Oh, Jesus. 21 00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:09,523 [both laughing] 22 00:01:09,594 --> 00:01:10,944 [Campbell] I hope you have insurance. 23 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,441 [laughs] You know I don't, bitch! 24 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,112 -Excuse me, ma'am. -What are you-- 25 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,186 -Sorry. Oh, this is-- Oh. -Out of my way, ma'am. 26 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,777 Make way! 27 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,780 That's what I call a food permit. 28 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,358 Wait, you got your Bulleit, right? 29 00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:21,358 Hell, yeah, I did. 30 00:01:21,439 --> 00:01:22,949 Thank you very much! 31 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,698 [security guard] Where's the party? 32 00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:26,124 [Campbell] Uh... 33 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,948 [Abby] It depends. Watch your six. 34 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,793 [Campbell chuckles] 35 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:30,803 [Abby] Ha! 36 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:36,628 [Campbell] Okay! 37 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,459 [Abby] Ha, we did really well! 38 00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,134 [Campbell chuckles] Yeah, this will last us the week. 39 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,972 Let's not make promises we can't keep. 40 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,467 Got it. 41 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,483 -[both laugh] -[Abby] All right. 42 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,397 What the fuck? 43 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,993 [Campbell] Yeah. Say that again. 44 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,328 [indistinct chatter] 45 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,080 [woman] That poster looks really good. 46 00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:10,164 [woman 2] Can I get that blue marker for a minute? 47 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,962 [woman] Mm-hm. 48 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,514 Oh, hey, Irene! 49 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,836 You do know this is the Lesbian Caucus? 50 00:02:22,852 --> 00:02:25,012 Oh, yeah. I-- Yeah. 51 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,510 Well, aren't you a bisexual? 52 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,683 -Yeah. -Exactly. 53 00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:31,852 This is lesbian only. 54 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,685 Oh. 55 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,020 So you won't feel comfortable here. 56 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,016 [Abby] I didn't know. 57 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,317 Irene... 58 00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,531 You're only the treasurer, Campbell. 59 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,203 Yeah, thank you very much. 60 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,527 And eat it. 61 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,952 I won that election fair and square. 62 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:51,035 No, she called you the t-- treasurer. 63 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,616 Well, I just wanted to-- 64 00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:54,366 Campbell, I knew I shouldn't have come here. 65 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:56,037 -What? -I just-- 66 00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:58,041 Come on, let's go walk it off. You're fine. 67 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,713 God... 68 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,456 [Campbell] Hey, what are you doin' on Friday? 69 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,048 I mean, I have a lot of things I'm deciding between. 70 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,878 [chuckles] No, I don't have any plans. 71 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,299 A bunch of us are goin' out Friday night 72 00:03:07,379 --> 00:03:08,719 to this club up on the North Side. 73 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,715 It's called Big Chicks. 74 00:03:09,732 --> 00:03:11,062 It's lesbian night. 75 00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,721 Oh. Yeah, I know. And like bis-- 76 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,225 There's gonna be dancing. It's gonna be fun. 77 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,136 Y-- You got me. I'd love to go. 78 00:03:16,221 --> 00:03:17,901 -Thank you so much. -[chuckles] That's awesome. 79 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:19,357 Yeah, come on. Let's go. 80 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,907 You comin' in? 81 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,070 Um... I mean-- I'm thinkin' about it. 82 00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,414 I don't know. 83 00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:31,409 Trust me. 84 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:32,490 You're gonna love it. 85 00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:34,080 Really? 86 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,499 [sighs] 87 00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:36,383 Okay. 88 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,423 It looks hot. 89 00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:40,498 [laughs] 90 00:03:40,537 --> 00:03:41,917 Oh, I was right! 91 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:44,011 [dance music playing] 92 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,364 -Oh! Abby! -[exclaims] 93 00:04:01,391 --> 00:04:02,771 Oh! 94 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,439 You made it! I'm so glad! 95 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,783 I can't believe this place! It's amazing! 96 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,199 I know. 97 00:04:08,273 --> 00:04:09,453 [Abby] I'm fuckin' freakin' out! 98 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,948 It's so great! 99 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,624 Oh my God! 100 00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:14,288 [Cambell] Let me just go get some Rolling Rocks! 101 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,946 -Yes, please. -I'm gonna order, you buy. 102 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,959 [Abby] Okay, let's not make this a habit. 103 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,458 Down the hatch and into the spirit. 104 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,760 [both cheer] Ahh! 105 00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:27,625 -[Campbell] More, please. -Oh, God. 106 00:04:27,643 --> 00:04:29,883 [indistinct] 107 00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:32,471 You know, we're from out of town. 108 00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:35,135 We go to college. 109 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,470 [laughs] 110 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:37,809 -Yeah. -Yeah. 111 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,784 [dance music continues] 112 00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,815 Whoo! 113 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,147 I feel good out here. 114 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:47,491 It was so fucking hot in there. 115 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,320 I swear to God. 116 00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,741 I was sweating through all my layers. Feel-- 117 00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,324 Don't, it's gross! 118 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,079 But I don't care. I had so much fun! 119 00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:54,990 Called it! 120 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:55,988 You did call it. 121 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:56,995 Thank you so much. 122 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,326 Is this your first time? 123 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,330 [Abby] Yeah. 124 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:00,751 That's okay though. 125 00:05:00,825 --> 00:05:02,575 I mean, oh, my God, I was so nervous. 126 00:05:02,619 --> 00:05:03,919 [chuckles] Why? 127 00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,593 Well, I don't know. 128 00:05:05,663 --> 00:05:07,093 I mean, I was just like feelin' sick, kind of. 129 00:05:07,165 --> 00:05:08,755 And-- and like, I was on my way up here, 130 00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:10,262 I almost turned around like several times. 131 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,093 And I'm so fucking glad I didn't. 132 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,258 Thank you, Campbell. 133 00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:14,756 Oh, you're welcome. 134 00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:16,678 Fuck! I belong here! 135 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:19,516 I am a lesbian! 136 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,692 No shit! 137 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,187 Yo! Fuck you! 138 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,863 [Campbell] Yeah! Fuck you! 139 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,611 You heard what she said? She said, "Fuck you!" 140 00:05:27,685 --> 00:05:29,775 [Campbell] Fuck you and your little friend 141 00:05:29,854 --> 00:05:32,864 with a backwards visor on! 142 00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,865 -Bye, fuckers! -Shall you? 143 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,037 Oh, we shall. 144 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,700 -What's your name anyways? -Name's Lory. 145 00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,038 I'm Abby. I'm really excited to meet you. 146 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,540 Whoa! 147 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,541 We better see you in there later, Lory. 148 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:45,713 [Abby] Drink. 149 00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,681 Drinks, please. 150 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,970 -Abby? -Um-hmm? 151 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,720 Do you feel like the world is finally catching up to you? 152 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,218 Wait, what are you talking about? 153 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,550 [laughs] Oh. 154 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,715 Definitely. 155 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,467 Welcome to my world, girl. 156 00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,729 Okay, well, I don't know how you do it. 157 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,311 -It's not fun. -Because it's tiring. 158 00:06:04,389 --> 00:06:06,899 And my hands feel like they're like cottonmouth. 159 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,819 -You know, like they have it. -Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. 160 00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,323 So when did you start cuttin' hair? 161 00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:11,823 -I had no idea you did it. -Yeah. 162 00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:14,315 I learned at the Bosco Amore Hair Academy. 163 00:06:14,399 --> 00:06:16,069 Amore... Okay. 164 00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:18,985 -Oh, you've heard of it. -Yeah. I've heard of it. 165 00:06:19,070 --> 00:06:20,910 -No, you know Nora. -Yeah. 166 00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,083 Seven kids. She made sure that each one of us had a trade, 167 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,832 but I'm tellin' you, it was so she could get free shit. 168 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:27,250 Oh, for sure. 169 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,752 So she could get free asphalt resurfacing, 170 00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,839 free dental hygiene, 171 00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,836 free HVAC repair. 172 00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:35,928 You name it, she's got a kid for it. 173 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,178 Also, I love that one of the things she often needs 174 00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:39,926 is asphalt resurfacing. 175 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,682 -Jesus, Nora. -[laughs] 176 00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:45,099 Well, cheers to Bosco Amore and also to your mom. 177 00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:48,944 'Cause your girl likes the family discount. 178 00:06:48,951 --> 00:06:50,691 Oh, you think you're getting a discount? 179 00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,358 -Uh... -[chuckles] 180 00:06:52,437 --> 00:06:54,357 Okay, we should have like talked about that before. 181 00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:55,449 [laughs] Don't make me laugh. 182 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,027 -It goes uneven. -Yeah. 183 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,776 Wait, why did you stop cutting hair? 184 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:02,124 Because it's just cooler to have "beauty school drop-out" 185 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,035 on your resume. Am I right? 186 00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,865 That's actually pretty tight, 187 00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,459 like totally Frenchie. 188 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,714 -The first time I saw Grease, -Uh-huh. 189 00:07:09,746 --> 00:07:11,456 and actually every subsequent time... 190 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,383 Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. 191 00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:15,126 I was, like, trying to find out who I loved more, 192 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,548 Rizzo or Kenickie. 193 00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:18,216 Ugh, Abby, please. It's Chacha. 194 00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,806 -[Abby] Ooh... la-la. -[laughs] 195 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,810 Abby, you're gonna love this. 196 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:25,138 [Nancy] Oh, yeah, I mean, I am not overhyping this. 197 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,478 Yeah-- This is what-- I'm so envious of you right now. 198 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,649 I mean, you're literally not gonna want to leave. 199 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,072 [Campbell] This place has everything 200 00:07:31,142 --> 00:07:32,482 you could possibly want. Okay? 201 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,494 It's a Porky's for lesbians. 202 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,146 Okay, you know what? That's everything you would ever want. 203 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,155 [Nancy] Okay-- It's so much more than that. 204 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,657 -What are you fucking doin'? -It's a place where you 205 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,828 get to be who you want to be without fear. 206 00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:43,497 [Campbell] Boring. Okay? 207 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,825 It's a place where you can bone anyone you want 208 00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,671 without fear. With consent. 209 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,166 Campbell, is Wimmin's Fest like your spring break? 210 00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:51,839 Oh, correct, yes. 211 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:52,837 [Nancy] With a little less Dave Matthews 212 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,508 and a little more Enya. 213 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,166 Do you wanna hear my most perfect Wimmin's-- 214 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:58,005 [all] No. 215 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:00,354 You're arriving with one girlfriend, 216 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,345 and you're leaving with a different one. 217 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,767 -You're single. -Yeah, exactly. 218 00:08:04,842 --> 00:08:07,272 This year, I'm gonna be the other girlfriend. Right? 219 00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:10,435 And then next year, I'll let some sexy, you know, 220 00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,863 ambitious dyke steal my lady, 221 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,688 -and it's me paying it forward. -[bangs car door] 222 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,778 Let's fuckin' get it together, people. 223 00:08:17,814 --> 00:08:19,954 -We're almost there. -Okay, Grandpa! 224 00:08:19,983 --> 00:08:22,703 ♪ I'm tryin' to tell you somethin' about my life! ♪ 225 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,945 One hour without being a stereotype, Nancy! 226 00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:28,120 [all singing] ♪ I went to the doctor ♪ 227 00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:30,709 ♪ I went to the mountains ♪ 228 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,129 ♪ And I looked to the children ♪ 229 00:08:33,204 --> 00:08:35,634 ♪ And I drank from the fountains ♪ 230 00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:39,717 ♪ There's more than one answer to these questions ♪ 231 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,468 ♪ Pointing me in a crooked line ♪ 232 00:08:42,547 --> 00:08:46,717 ♪ And the less I seek my source for some definitive ♪ 233 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:49,725 ♪ The closer I am to fine ♪ 234 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,898 -[honking horn] -♪ Yeah ♪ 235 00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,567 ♪ Whoo ♪ 236 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,570 Abby, you are going to love this. 237 00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,738 [Nancy] You are, you are-- I mean, seriously. 238 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,207 You're going to weep when you leave. 239 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,160 [Campbell] I think that gullies can be 240 00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:07,164 just as comfortable as a bedroll. 241 00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:08,406 [Nancy] You've slept in a lot of gullies? 242 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,833 [Campbell] Enough. 243 00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:10,997 [Renee] What if it rains? 244 00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,504 [Campbell] What is rain 245 00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:14,917 when we are communing in Mother Na-- 246 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,344 We're almost there. 247 00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,922 We're almost there. [vocalizes] 248 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,667 Come on. It's time to start drinking. 249 00:09:19,751 --> 00:09:21,261 Abby, beer me. 250 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,090 -[Renee] Oh... we're here! -[beer cans open] 251 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,429 [Renee] We're here! 252 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,350 [dogs barking] 253 00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:29,353 [Campbell] This room makes me wanna sing 254 00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,435 sad Sarah McLachlan songs. 255 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:34,768 Please don't. 256 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:38,283 -[off-key vocalizing] -[dogs howling] 257 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,531 I thought you said Sarah McLachlan songs. 258 00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,203 [both laugh] 259 00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,783 I'm just nervous. 260 00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,446 I think I have nervous energy right now. 261 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,040 I know. It makes sense. But come on. 262 00:09:47,111 --> 00:09:49,041 You've seen photos of her, videos of her. 263 00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:50,623 It's gonna be great. 264 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,122 I know. But she hasn't seen photos of me. 265 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,785 I just want to get through this meet-and-greet 266 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,463 so I can bring her home, 267 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,211 and I don't know even what they're like, 268 00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,129 looking to make sure that I'm not someone who-- 269 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,132 Starts singing Sarah McLachlan songs 270 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,054 -when you see a fucking puppy? -[laughs] Yeah. 271 00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:05,638 -Fair. -Good luck on that test. 272 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,392 [both laugh] 273 00:10:07,465 --> 00:10:09,385 I am so sorry to keep you waiting. 274 00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:11,147 Little Bob Barker made a potty on his new parents. 275 00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:15,154 I just want to say that couples like you-- 276 00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,227 [Abby] Oh, we're not a couple. 277 00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:18,976 -No. -Oh. Well, 278 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:20,988 dogs that go to a house with two loving parents-- 279 00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:23,146 Oh, no, no, no, no. I have my own place. 280 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,235 The dog will be comin' home with me. 281 00:10:25,274 --> 00:10:27,414 She's just here for really 282 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,663 little to no moral support at all. 283 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,831 Hi... 284 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,659 Okay. 285 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,999 Well, uh, I'll be back in a jiffy with Sparkle. 286 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,334 [Campbell] Thank you. 287 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,335 -Sparkle? -Oh, I'm changing that. 288 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,591 I just can't wrap my brain around that you're moving 289 00:10:40,623 --> 00:10:43,343 back to your apartment tomorrow. It's so weird. 290 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,836 I know. But I figure it's time. 291 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,513 -Right? -Yeah. 292 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,851 With the dog, I'm gonna be coming 293 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,260 inside and outside more often. 294 00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:51,350 And I don't want to do that to you, Abby. 295 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,350 Mostly for my sake, because you know I'm horny. 296 00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:56,103 Oh, God. 297 00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:59,360 Well, I am not gonna apologize for being a healthy, 298 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:03,358 sexually frustrated Woman of the Year! 299 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:05,862 [Abby chuckles] I don't want you to apologize. 300 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,528 Just don't use the H-O-R-N-Y word. 301 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,953 -[chuckle] -I like the word. 302 00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:14,868 Hey, are you gonna be okay on your own? 303 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,207 I think so. 304 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:18,292 Kind of makes me wanna, you know, 305 00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:22,209 start belting out off-tune Sarah McLachlan songs. 306 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,384 Oh, I know. 307 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,126 [both hum] 308 00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:27,048 -[Campbell chuckles] -That's what it seems like... 309 00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:28,642 [Campbell] Isn't Zoom therapy just like 310 00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,301 normal therapy, though? You know? 311 00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:32,889 Ostensibly, but, like, you're fucking talking 312 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,731 through a screen. 313 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:37,226 Yeah. But I mean, now that this therapist is leaving, 314 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,229 -Uh-huh. -I think you should consider it. 315 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,815 But did I ever tell you that Doctor Franklin once said 316 00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:45,071 that people with severe anxiety thrive in chaos? 317 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,744 This is me thriving. 318 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,238 -[chuckles] -I mean, seriously, 319 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,740 I don't have to go into work. 320 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,991 I can start drinkin' at four o'clock. 321 00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,408 Eastern. 322 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,906 I was gonna ask which time zone. 323 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,827 Yeah, I don't have to shower every day. 324 00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,666 Ugh... Could you, though? I mean... 325 00:11:58,701 --> 00:12:00,591 -[laughs] -...for us, the world. 326 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,165 I know. Okay. 327 00:12:02,246 --> 00:12:03,916 -This is Sparkle. -Oh! 328 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:06,012 -[Abby exclaims] -Oh, my gosh. Oh. 329 00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,263 Oh, this is Eleanor Roosevelt. 330 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,594 I love you. 331 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,429 I'll do anything. 332 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,100 Oh, I love her so much. 333 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,932 -I love you. -[Abby] What's your secret? 334 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,693 I'm here too. It's like the prom. 335 00:12:17,762 --> 00:12:19,602 -What's up? -[Campbell laughs] 336 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,944 Oh... Oh, I love you. 337 00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,440 [Abby] I think she might be deaf. 338 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,776 Would you like to say "Hi" to Abby? 339 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:26,436 Okay. You know what? 340 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,699 -That's rude. -Yeah, just roll your eyes. 341 00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:29,952 You're perfect! 342 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,118 I love her. 343 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,446 Well, good luck. 344 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,365 -Thank you. -Thank you. 345 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,952 To the two of you. 346 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,697 -Hold on, we're not-- -We're not-- 347 00:12:36,739 --> 00:12:38,119 -[Chandler] Right. You got that? -[Nancy] Watch your mouth. 348 00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:39,867 -Jesus. -Oh, too little too late. 349 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:41,459 -[Renee] And it's called One-O. -[Chandler] One-O? 350 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,960 -[Nancy] Yeah. -[Renee] Yeah. It'll be fun. 351 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,131 [Chandler] No, I don't need any help. 352 00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,629 [Nancy] Oh, no. She's fine. 353 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,960 [indistinct conversation] 354 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,295 [Abby] Hey, Campbell, we gotta go. 355 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:49,554 Registration's about to close. 356 00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:51,385 [Campbell] All right, yes. Yes. 357 00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,800 All the good workshops are gonna fill up. Let's go. 358 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,474 [Abby] Chandler, are you fucking ser-- 359 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:56,143 We're in the middle of a fuckin' forest. 360 00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:57,475 What? I want to make sure it's clean in case 361 00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:59,476 we have fucking guests, Abby. 362 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,152 Yeah, 'cause everybody who's gonna visit is very clean. 363 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,476 What a tool. 364 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:03,651 Yeah, have fun, Susie Homemaker. 365 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,153 That's homo-maker to you. 366 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,980 Go fuck yourself. I'll catch up. 367 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,239 -Don't worry about her. -Don't bother. 368 00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,652 -[both laughing] -Burn! 369 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,159 [laughs] Such a burn! 370 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,816 -[Renee] Have fun. -[Nancy] Catch you later. 371 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:13,994 -[Renee] We'll meet you there. -[Campbell] Yeah. 372 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,502 [Renee] All right. 373 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,298 [woman] Support inclusion. 374 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,342 Lesbian Avengers for inclusion. 375 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:28,919 Oh. What a joy, what a joy. 376 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,840 Oh, your sweet faces. 377 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,432 Hello. 378 00:13:32,503 --> 00:13:34,183 We're gonna be here for seven hours. 379 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:36,509 Just kidding, just kidding. 380 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:40,849 Thank you all for coming to Gender Journeys. 381 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:41,847 [applause] 382 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,283 Yeah, let's have fun. 383 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,191 Look, look at all the beautiful varied bodies 384 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:49,436 we have here today. 385 00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:51,028 -Take a look around. -[crowd applauds] 386 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,359 [workshop leader] Now, our journey begins 387 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,029 with understanding our bodies, right? 388 00:13:56,044 --> 00:14:00,454 And-- and appreciating it for all that they do. 389 00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:03,459 Once we shed societal expectations 390 00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:05,544 that are forced upon us as women 391 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,458 of what our bodies should look like, 392 00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,796 of how they should be presented, 393 00:14:09,874 --> 00:14:12,884 we can fully immerse ourselves 394 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:15,719 in the infinite possibilities 395 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,220 of how we define our full selves, 396 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:23,144 including our innate gender. 397 00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:26,730 Now, take this time to take in every aspect 398 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:28,901 of your perfect vessel. 399 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,120 Don't be shy. Go ahead. 400 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,900 From your toes to your nose, 401 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,244 and higher. [chuckles] 402 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,160 Take your time. 403 00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,384 Sit with that vessel. 404 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,905 You can... yup, 405 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,504 do it at your own speed. Don't worry. 406 00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:47,594 [Campbell] Abs! 407 00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:48,916 Hi! 408 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,170 -Oh, my God. Hi. -[chuckles] 409 00:14:51,207 --> 00:14:52,757 Look at what I made. 410 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,757 -I want you to-- -What the fuck is that? 411 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,259 I went to the Build-a-Beaver Workshop. 412 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,851 -Oh, my-- -Isn't she a beaut? 413 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,680 Get that fucking thing out of my face. 414 00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:01,265 -[chuckles] -You said you were gonna go 415 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,676 to the Unpacking Internalized Misogyny workshop. 416 00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:06,849 Yeah, I decided it's best packed for 417 00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,189 -a little while longer. -[chuckles] Okay. 418 00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:11,435 [Campbell] How was the Gender Journey workshop? 419 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,277 Did it take you anywhere exciting? 420 00:15:13,288 --> 00:15:15,278 You know, we're gonna find out when I get poison oak 421 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,614 from the woman sittin' next to me. 422 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,275 -[Campbell] Oh, no. -Whoa. 423 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,447 Hey. 424 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,115 Can you please do me a favor 425 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,453 and take this back to camp? 426 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,868 There's a massage tent up there 427 00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:25,788 with the world's hottest masseuse, 428 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,125 and you know your girl's scapula needs some T-L-C, STAT. 429 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,627 Well, you know what? You owe me one. 430 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,799 -Yeah. -I'll see you later. 431 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:34,051 Also, be careful with that. 432 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,715 Why would I not be careful with that? 433 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,473 I know exactly where I'm going at all times. 434 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,469 -This is why. -You know what? This is why. 435 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,521 Okay. 436 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,564 -[Nancy] Fuckin'! -[Chandler laughs] 437 00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:50,477 -[Nancy] Fuck you! -We'll count 'em out for you. 438 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,982 -One, two, three, four. -[Nancy] Keep rollin'. 439 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:52,983 Keep rollin'. 440 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,494 Good. 441 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:55,986 [Nancy] So what do you think so far? 442 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,157 -Blue. Sorry, Chandler. -[laughter] 443 00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,816 Fuck you, Nancy. 444 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,164 Goddammit! 445 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,659 -Of Wimmin's Fest? -Yeah. 446 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,655 [Chandler exhales] It's bullshit. 447 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,996 Ah! Fuck you. 448 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,406 -[Campbell laughs] -Okay. Whip. 449 00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:07,829 I know what I'm doin'. 450 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,917 Ooh. We have a quick learner. 451 00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:11,094 [Renee] Oh, and I have an announcement. 452 00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:12,502 I have one O. 453 00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:14,014 -Good for you. -[Nancy] Take it easy. 454 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,090 I've been playin' your whole hand. 455 00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,514 You take it easy. 456 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,182 [Chandler] Oh, good. Come back. 457 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,756 -She's got one card. -[Nancy] You know what? 458 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:20,677 I've never been less nervous in my life. 459 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:21,679 [all laugh] 460 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,600 This has happened before. 461 00:16:23,674 --> 00:16:25,524 I guess I'm just glad that we're all here together. 462 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,441 How schmaltzy is that? 463 00:16:27,511 --> 00:16:28,601 -[all] Aw... -[grunts] 464 00:16:28,679 --> 00:16:32,859 [all] Cheers! 465 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,357 To the dykes of Chicago. 466 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:37,861 [Chandler] Revenge is coming 467 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,697 [Campbell] That request is denied. 468 00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,368 -[Abby] Hey. -[Chandler grunts] 469 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:43,276 Have you seen those Gender Myth flyers around? 470 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,040 Yeah. What about 'em? 471 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,536 I think they're from the Camp Trans people. 472 00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,213 Hmm... 473 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,377 I'm just gonna destroy you right now, Chandler. 474 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,880 -Just don't turn out-- -Fucking hell! 475 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,207 [Campbell] Please don't turn out 476 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:56,046 the electricity in my tent. 477 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,717 Already done. 478 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,216 I mean, I think they're really interesting. 479 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,717 Oh, yeah. 480 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,389 I mean, if by interesting, you mean boring, 481 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,967 then it's very interesting. 482 00:17:04,006 --> 00:17:06,466 For real, what do you think about them? 483 00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:08,309 I mean, I-I don't think about them. 484 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,894 This is a place for women. 485 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,404 -I win. -[Chandler] What? 486 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:12,556 -What the f--? -[Nancy] Renee. 487 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,484 [Campbell] Um, excuse me. 488 00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:17,067 Who was in charge of watching Renee? 489 00:17:17,078 --> 00:17:18,738 -[Abby laughs] -[Campbell] Okay. 490 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,647 I-I said we should've been playing Charades 491 00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,069 -all night. -[laughs] 492 00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:22,993 Like she would have played that-- 493 00:17:23,025 --> 00:17:24,405 Hey, Abby. 494 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,243 -Hey, Alexis. -[Campbell] Oh, God. 495 00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,498 Uh, what're you up to? What are you doin' here? 496 00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:32,082 Um, I'm a woman who has sex with women. 497 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,923 No, I remember why we broke up. 498 00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,498 Um, I thought you had moved to Philadelphia? 499 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:37,920 Yeah, I-- I did. 500 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,312 I'm here with my girlfriend. 501 00:17:41,585 --> 00:17:43,755 What... the... fuck. 502 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,596 That is a two-bit, cheap imitation of Abby. 503 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,598 No, she's not. She's from Canada. 504 00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,104 [Abby] You know what? 505 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,766 Whoever she is, I bet she's lovely. 506 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:53,270 -Thank you. -[Abby] You're welcome. 507 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,111 Quick question. 508 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,606 Did you take out an ad in, like, the Coveralls R Us 509 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,033 for someone like my ex with a shitton of pockets? 510 00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:00,613 Got it. Okay. 511 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,112 -I'm gonna go. Yeah, 100%. -Yeah, bye. Bye. 512 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,783 [Campbell] Cool. 513 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,282 -[Abby] It was good to see you. -Yeah, have fun. 514 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,777 -with your little game. -Hey! Hey! 515 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,445 Before you leave, I just want you to take 516 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,867 one more look at the original Abby. 517 00:18:10,906 --> 00:18:12,706 Okay? 518 00:18:12,783 --> 00:18:14,713 This doesn't fuckin' happen every day. All right? 519 00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,213 [Nancy] Goodbye, goodbye. 520 00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:18,375 -[Campbell] Have a good one. -Goodbye. 521 00:18:18,455 --> 00:18:20,375 Really glad The Land is such a peaceful place. 522 00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:22,297 [all laugh] 523 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,800 -[phone dinging repeatedly] -[Campbell] Emily's husband 524 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,216 was like, "No, I'm gonna go model 525 00:18:25,296 --> 00:18:26,886 for this art class in the nude." 526 00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:28,642 And I'm like, "I don't get that." 527 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:29,890 [Abby] Are you fucking kidding me? 528 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,137 [Campbell] What? 529 00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,477 They're canceling Dyke March. 530 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,477 Well, shit. 531 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,533 I mean, I get it, but shit. 532 00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:42,316 I bet that means Pride Parade is gonna be canceled. 533 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,070 Okay, you know what? I can live with that. 534 00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:45,818 Did you hear that this year, 535 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,078 they're being sponsored by Cheesy Puffs? 536 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:49,742 Flavor blasted for the gays! 537 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:52,410 And finger blasted for the dykes. 538 00:18:52,489 --> 00:18:54,499 I swear to God, I don't know myself anymore. 539 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,329 First off, 540 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:59,094 -you're crude and you're rude. -[both laugh] 541 00:18:59,163 --> 00:19:03,093 Two, don't make a mockery of Pride Parade. 542 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:06,505 It's a beacon of hope for queer acceptance. 543 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,151 You know who's really gonna be the most heartbroken? 544 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,849 [Mike] You're here. 545 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,191 You're queer. 546 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,600 And I'm getting used to it. 547 00:19:15,679 --> 00:19:16,689 We're here. 548 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:17,942 You're queer. 549 00:19:18,015 --> 00:19:19,105 And I'm gettin' used to it. 550 00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,691 [Abby] Okay. First of all, 551 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,276 I'm so glad you're getting used to it. 552 00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:23,783 [Mike chuckles] 553 00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,614 Also, did you and your insurance bros 554 00:19:25,648 --> 00:19:27,278 have a great time at the Pride Parade? 555 00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,616 Totally. Where the fuck were you guys? 556 00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:32,293 Actually, where the fuck are Aly and the kids? 557 00:19:32,363 --> 00:19:33,953 Oh, she's parking the car. 558 00:19:34,031 --> 00:19:35,871 I'm too drunk to drive. [laughs] 559 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,628 [Abby] Oh, my God. 560 00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,130 And we-- we dropped the kids off at my parents 561 00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:40,631 because they were gettin' too much sun. 562 00:19:40,704 --> 00:19:41,714 Oh, they were getting too much sun? 563 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,383 -Yeah. -[Campbell] Hey, 564 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,051 are you just gonna kind of hang out there, 565 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,224 or do you wanna come over and join some real gays? 566 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,393 There he is! 567 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,546 -[all cheer] -Hey... 568 00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:53,559 [Campbell] Jags, I'm so happy to see you. 569 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:55,728 Words I never thought I'd say. 570 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:57,481 -[all laugh] -Ooh! 571 00:19:57,554 --> 00:19:59,234 Abby, please tell me that you got the kids some beads. 572 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,560 I promised Meg you'd get her some beads. 573 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,395 You have the best entrance 574 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,570 to every party. You're just always happy to be here. 575 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,898 Thank you, thank you. 576 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,823 -[Campbell] Aly? -[Alison] Yes? 577 00:20:06,897 --> 00:20:08,567 -I can get you some beads. -Okay. All right, hook it up. 578 00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,663 But, uh, you can never ask me how I got them. 579 00:20:11,735 --> 00:20:12,905 [Abby] I'll tell you in a heartbeat. 580 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:14,905 Story. Sounds like a good story. 581 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,407 Do not blame the fuckin' homos for you starting to smoke again. 582 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,745 -[laughs sarcastically] -My Lord. 583 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,091 Jags! 584 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,585 Hey... 585 00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,257 [Jags] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 586 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,585 Do you enjoy bein' a big ole queer for the day? 587 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,261 [Jags] Yeah, it was awesome. 588 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,009 I didn't even know Mike was gonna be there, 589 00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:31,425 and then we ran into a bunch of friends from 590 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,429 -work and school and stuff. -What? 591 00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:34,925 [Jags] Can you believe Brad and his fiancée? 592 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,603 [chuckles] I know. Brad the homophobe. 593 00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:38,521 Okay, hold on. Who gave him that nickname? 594 00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:39,944 Oh, he gave it to himself. 595 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,438 Hey, did you know that the Jewel float 596 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,440 is actually a giant shopping cart? 597 00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:47,277 It's so cool. 598 00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,528 Where were you guys anyway? We wanted to surprise you. 599 00:20:49,565 --> 00:20:51,525 [Abby] Oh, we actually don't go to Pride every year. 600 00:20:51,608 --> 00:20:53,698 It's just become somewhat of-- I don't know. 601 00:20:53,736 --> 00:20:55,866 There was this huge Double-Decker bus, 602 00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,454 and that was the Citibank float. 603 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,115 Citibank loves the gays. 604 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,463 -You've come a long way, baby. -Don't. 605 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,539 I couldn't have said it better than Jags himself. 606 00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:05,210 -[Jags] What? -Words I never thought I'd say. 607 00:21:05,289 --> 00:21:06,879 Hey, you know what, Jags, no offense. 608 00:21:06,957 --> 00:21:08,127 None taken. 609 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,222 I'm gonna get some food. 610 00:21:09,293 --> 00:21:10,633 Yeah. 611 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,135 Okay. For example, Citibank 612 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,306 -just loves money, right? -Um-hmm. 613 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:16,465 But they especially love that sweet, sweet, 614 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,564 -sweet gay boy money. -Uhh... Ah-huh. Okay. 615 00:21:18,635 --> 00:21:20,055 And then they're there. And they're tryin' to get... 616 00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:22,147 It's just like, I don't know 617 00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:24,226 who the Pride Parade is for anymore. 618 00:21:24,266 --> 00:21:26,816 Just doesn't-- feel good. 619 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,818 -Hi. -Um-hmm. 620 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,320 [Abby] Would you like to end this one-sided conversation 621 00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,817 and grab yourself a beer? 622 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,158 Uh, would that be all right? 623 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,988 -I mean, it is your day. -Thank you. 624 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:36,908 Thank you for noticing. 625 00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:38,155 Grab me one too. 626 00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:39,577 [Campbell] Grab me one too. 627 00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:40,995 She's got a pineapple to fill 628 00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:43,499 and I've got an empty fist. 629 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:44,995 Nickname in college. 630 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,337 -[all laugh] -All right. 631 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,008 [both] Ay... 632 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:53,182 Oh, it's our last housemate dinner tonight. 633 00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:54,847 -Oh. -Hmm. 634 00:21:54,856 --> 00:21:56,596 You know, 635 00:21:56,632 --> 00:21:59,772 I could make my world-famous puttanesca. 636 00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:01,273 World-famous? 637 00:22:01,345 --> 00:22:03,015 To which world are you referring? 638 00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:04,941 Also, Campbell, 639 00:22:05,015 --> 00:22:07,015 are you sure you're gonna want to cook tonight? 640 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,605 [Italian accent] A woman can work like a whore all day, 641 00:22:09,686 --> 00:22:11,606 and still come home 642 00:22:11,688 --> 00:22:14,618 and cook a bellissima meal, all right? 643 00:22:14,691 --> 00:22:16,531 Like a sex worker, okay? 644 00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:17,704 Okay. 645 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:19,372 And I'm sorry, work all day? 646 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,540 You bought a ton of booze, 647 00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,373 most of which is for you. 648 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,464 You gave me an amazing haircut, 649 00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:27,706 and you adopted the most perfect dog on the face of the planet. 650 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,712 You know what they say. 651 00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:32,474 "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." 652 00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:33,971 That just rolls off the tongue. 653 00:22:34,002 --> 00:22:35,392 [chuckles] 654 00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,221 -Hi, Nance! -[Nancy] Hey... 655 00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,886 Booze Pixies delivery number one! 656 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:42,061 -You're the best. -[Abby] You are, love you. 657 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,890 Thank you. 658 00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:45,559 Actually, I don't think I wanna cook tonight. 659 00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,977 How about we do our favorite thing, 660 00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:48,065 which is order in? 661 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:50,566 That would break our record 662 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,398 of nine consecutive days in a row. 663 00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:53,898 [Abby] Your girl loves a milestone. 664 00:22:53,915 --> 00:22:55,565 [Campbell] How about chicken? 665 00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:57,157 We haven't had that for a while. 666 00:22:57,192 --> 00:22:58,912 [Abby] Okay, not to disagree. 667 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,410 -We had Roost on Tuesday. -Hey! Hey, Bubba. 668 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:02,832 [Campbell] That was just Tuesday? 669 00:23:02,906 --> 00:23:03,906 Hi. 670 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:05,415 Oh my God. 671 00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,081 I fuckin' love you assholes! 672 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,749 Booze Pixie Delivery. 673 00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:10,247 Be careful. 674 00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,589 -[Abby] You too. -[Chandler] And fuck off. 675 00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:13,423 [Campbell] You too. 676 00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:15,929 What are other ideas for our final Bacchanalian meal? 677 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:17,511 How about soup? 678 00:23:17,588 --> 00:23:19,848 How is that Bacchanalian? 679 00:23:19,923 --> 00:23:21,353 What's wrong with soup? 680 00:23:21,425 --> 00:23:23,015 I'm sorry. 681 00:23:23,093 --> 00:23:24,943 When did you become a Polish grandmother? 682 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:28,016 Okay, I was gonna save this surprise for your birthday, 683 00:23:28,098 --> 00:23:30,768 but it's been something I'm trying on for size. 684 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,605 [chuckles] 685 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,450 And I'm loving it! It's fitting like a glove! 686 00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:36,605 Damn right it does, Babciu. 687 00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,704 [Abby] ♪ Borscht, borscht, borscht, borscht, borscht ♪ 688 00:23:39,735 --> 00:23:41,445 -[King] Hey... -[Abby] Hi. 689 00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:43,287 This is so sweet, thank you. Hi, Campbell! 690 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,787 I love you. 691 00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:46,623 You know me. I'm the Bulleit bitch. 692 00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,964 [Campbell] This Booze Pixie shit is awesome, by the way. 693 00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:50,460 It is. 694 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:52,051 You're the Booze, I'm the Pixie. 695 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,800 It hurts because that's very fair. 696 00:23:53,808 --> 00:23:55,468 [chuckles] 697 00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:57,221 Let's just go Vietnamese and call it a day. Okay? 698 00:23:57,252 --> 00:23:58,552 Oh, yes. You know what? 699 00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:00,137 Hi-Yan is so good. 700 00:24:00,148 --> 00:24:02,308 Then I can get soup, and you can get not soup, 701 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:05,061 and then we're both happy. 702 00:24:05,135 --> 00:24:06,475 -Okay. -[cell phone buzzing] 703 00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,147 Oh, thank God, saved by the buzz. 704 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,306 I literally cannot talk about you moving out. 705 00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:12,484 Hey, hey, Jamal, how's it goin'? 706 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:13,573 Hey, Jamal. 707 00:24:13,644 --> 00:24:15,654 [Jamal] Abby, um, 708 00:24:15,687 --> 00:24:17,237 can you come to my mom's? 709 00:24:17,314 --> 00:24:18,494 Yeah. 710 00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:20,244 Your dad... 711 00:24:20,317 --> 00:24:21,657 What happened? 712 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,629 Your dad's in the ICU. 713 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:29,219 ["Fall Asleep" by Big Joanie playing] 714 00:24:33,664 --> 00:24:35,264 ♪ If I ever fall asleep now ♪ 715 00:24:35,332 --> 00:24:37,512 ♪ Would you ♪ 716 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,508 ♪ Wake me from the dream that's kept me ♪ 717 00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:43,011 ♪ Crying now for weeks? 718 00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:44,518 ♪ That's kept me ♪ 719 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:47,675 ♪ Crying now for weeks? ♪ 720 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,095 ♪ If I ever fall asleep now ♪ 721 00:24:50,138 --> 00:24:52,018 ♪ Would you ♪ 722 00:24:52,057 --> 00:24:54,687 ♪ Wake me from the dream that's left me ♪ 723 00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:56,862 ♪ Shaking now for weeks? ♪ 724 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,355 ♪ That's left me ♪ 725 00:24:58,372 --> 00:25:01,122 ♪ Shaking now for weeks? ♪ 726 00:25:02,818 --> 00:25:04,838 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 727 00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:08,804 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 728 00:25:09,992 --> 00:25:12,182 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 729 00:25:13,370 --> 00:25:15,550 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 730 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:19,376 ♪ I want you to wake me up ♪ 731 00:25:19,393 --> 00:25:23,053 ♪ I want you to wake me up ♪ 732 00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:26,224 ♪ I want you to wake me up ♪ 733 00:25:26,234 --> 00:25:29,734 ♪ I want you to wake me up ♪ 734 00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:32,697 ♪ I want you to wake me up ♪ 735 00:25:32,747 --> 00:25:37,297 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0